Here’s another extract from Screw It, I’ll Take The Elevator

After meeting him at Guayrapa in 2015 we have stayed in touch via email and Skype.

There are certain people who really understand me and he is one of them. We have a strong bond and are like brothers. He has really helped and advised me over the last two and a half years.

Not only is he a great ascension teacher, I can rely on him if I have a problem and need advice.

When I went to Guayrapa last year Maitreya was there and got me food at mealtimes and did my weekly laundry for me. And he is going to be there to help me when I go back in September.

We like telling people stories about each other and I have a few about Maitreya!

This is an anecdote, from Guayrapa last year, that he likes telling even more than I do!

It wasn’t uncommon for Maitreya to get food for me first and then for him to go and sit at another table (with only room for six people per table). However on the day in question Maitreya sat with me twice.

At lunchtime we sat with four other people, one of whom was ‘Scott from Scotland’ (a golf instructor and one of my roommates). As the conversation was about golf it gave me a cue to tell my golf joke, which got a good laugh.

Then at dinnertime, Maitreya was sitting opposite me and we were at a table with three or four people, who had just arrived at the retreat. We hadn’t met them before and English wasn’t their first language.

After we had introduced ourselves and asked them where they were from, Maitreya (thinking it would make a good icebreaker) quietly said to me “Tell your golf joke, it’s really funny…!”

I thought ‘I’m so bored of it and I’m  eating’, so I replied “No, I can’t eat and talk at the same time. You tell it…”

After pausing for a moment, Maitreya turned to the rest of the people on the table and piped out “I’ve got a joke about Patrick……Why does Patrick like playing golf so much?……Because he’s got a good handicap!”

The look on the new people’s faces was one of horror and confusion. They were speechless!

Not knowing what to say or do Maitreya reiterated “…It’s a joke…”. He looked at me as if to say ‘Help me out of this hole I’m in…”

So I put my hands over my eyes and started pretending to sob, saying “How can you make fun of someone who’s disabled?”

Still speechless, the new people looked even more horrified and perplexed. They probably thought ‘Who are these strange people and where have we just landed?”

I’m sure Maitreya just wanted to run away! But he continued trying to recover the situation, scrambling “No, no, it’s okay, he’s joking…”

He then went on and tried explaining what a handicap in golf is (without much luck)!

I was just enjoying the moment.

And that’s how Maitreya got his reputation as someone who makes fun of disabled people!

Come September I’ll have three months of this kind of thing!

I love spending time with my ‘brother’. He’s not all bad. He’s good at selling my books for me. And being an author himself, he has helped me self-publish this one on Create Space.

Maitreya has written two books under the name Oliver Seligman. The Broker Who Broke Free and No Rest for the Wicked.

I’ve read them and they are both GREAT reads. The latter is a laugh-out-loud book.

You can get your copy of Screw It, I’ll Take The Elevator HERE & NOW