The couple of people I told about my online-dating experiences said things like “You haven’t tried very hard…” I don’t think they realised how much physical time and effort I put into the process of writing emails and how much emotional pain it caused me.
Yes, I have Cerebral Palsy but why do most women not look past that and see me as a human being?
Jeremy Vine ran a weekly series on his Radio 2 show, where he invited inspirational people to answer the question ‘What makes us human?’ A few months ago I heard Alison Lapper MBE, an English artist who paints with her mouth because she was born without arms on the programme. Alison defined it extremely well. She said what makes us human is to love and to be loved, accepted and respected.
This is the most important point of my book because I get the impression that the people who call me an inspiration do not think about this.
The most basic human emotion is love. Everyone in the world needs it because it’s the most fundamental thing in life.
When people see me walking around and doing everything I do and they think I’m an inspiration, do they consider my basic needs and desires as a human being?
For so many years, I have known that I haven’t been physiologically fed. It’s something that affects my confidence in everyday life – but I think people don’t think or realise it about me.
I know what love is because I have loved two people (Rosie and Janet) very much. I overcome everything else in my life relatively easily. However, not having found someone to share my life with yet is the one thing I do not cope with well.
People know me as someone who is often laughing and joking, but I’m not like that when I’m at home alone. I wouldn’t wish the pain it causes me on my worst enemy.
What really hurts me is that I have got so much love to give and I’m such a soft and gentle person, but people don’t give me a chance to allow me to show them that side of me.
I think most people take relationships for granted and I have known so many people in bad relationships. It hurts me because I value people and relationships. People refer to their ‘other half’. I feel like I’m half a person.
I often wonder how I keep going. It’s due to my belief that I am going to find the right woman to share my life with. I am only human.
Please pre-order your copy of ‘Screw it, I’ll Take The Elevator’ to help me with the self-publishing costs! http://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/ukpatrick
