Tag Archives: Baby boy

I feel numb

This is not an extract from my book. It is what I’m feeling here and now – and written on the spur of the moment.

I can deal with just about everything in life – with the exception of when it comes to the consequences of building a meaningful friendship/relationship with a woman. Communicating via email can cause misunderstandings – and my fear of rejection can cause me to self sabotage the situation (just in case there’s a chance that I could get rejected). I end up hurting myself much worse.

I would like to meet a woman who has the compassion and who understands why I do these things. To build any form of a relationship I need to take baby steps to get to know and trust the person slowly

I’ve met – and been rejected by – so many women over the years – but the pain of rejection never gets any easier every time it happens.

People are inspired by seeing how well I cope with life physically – but they don’t see the emotional pain I endure. It is by far the hardest thing in my life to deal with.

The most basic human emotional is to love, and to be loved – and to share life with someone. This is something and probably someone I have yet to meet.

I prefer trying and not succeeding – than not trying at all to build, the beginning of a strong and meaningful relationship with a lovely woman who inspires me.

Mentally and physically I am very strong but emotionally I’m fragile.

All I would like is to be given the opportunity, to slowly get to know and trust someone special.

I’m only human – and make some mistakes.

 

The first 4 minutes of my life

I currently have 22 pre-orders for my book. My target is 534.

This is the first extract from the book – and where better to start from than the very beginning of it.

2nd December 1973 – that’s the day I was due to be born. But there were complications. A couple of weeks before I was due my mum wasn’t feeling well so she went to the hospital to get checked over. Upon being examined, she was told “There’s a problem. You’ve got extremely high blood pressure and we need to induce the birth immediately.”
I entered the world on 21st November 1973 at Masons Hill Maternity Hospital in Bromley, Kent. It’s the only time I’ve arrived early for something in my life!
The umbilical cord had gotten twisted and was wrapped around my neck, causing me not to breathe for the first four minutes of my life. After which point I gave out a little cough and I started to breathe normally.

As I don’t have any baby photos of me to hand, for the purposes of this blog update, here’s another baby boy.

baby boy

The midwife said to my mum “Your son is fine but he might have some learning difficulties.”
It was only when I was nine months old – when my parents realised I had difficulties sitting up properly – that I was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy (CP).
I reckon I have a recollection of a few minutes just after I was born. All I remember is, bright lights (like in an operating theatre), being wrapped in a white blanket and then being placed in a see-through container, which had a lid on it (what I once described as a breadbin!). Who knows? Maybe the starvation of oxygen made my brain really alert.
When I was about eight years old, I told my mum about my recollection of the few minutes after I was born. She replied “Nah, you must have dreamt it”. But she then said that the white blanket and being placed in an incubator sounded about right.

You can pre-order Stairs For Breakfast from the top right-hand side of this page.