Fourth extract from, ‘Screw it, I’ll take the elevator’, Enjoy and to pre-order your copy, go to: https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/ukPatrick
After moving into my flat I wasted no time in becoming known in the on-site bar. There I met my friend Steve Bell and became friends with his wife Jill and daughter Tammy.
Steve is a generation older than me and unlike me, he’s an artistic person. He used to be a secondary school art teacher and has always played a variety of musical instruments. The reason Steve and I get on so well is because we are both people persons and share the same values and sense of humour.
Neither of us will forget the time we went to a party at someone’s house. I was in the back garden when a woman, ten to fifteen years older than me, approached me and asked:
Lady: “What do you do?”
Me: “I’m a computer programmer and I work for Shh.”
Lady [looking perplexed]: “no…really, what is it that you do?”
Me: “I really am a computer programmer – and I do work for Shh.”
Lady [still unconvinced]: “no, honestly, what is it that you do?”
Me [becoming bored] “What can I say? I am a computer programmer…”
At which point Steve walks by.
Me: “Steve, help me out here. This lady doesn’t believe me that I’m a computer programmer and that I work for Shh.”
Steve [without hesitating]: “No, he works at the post office, licking
stamps…”
Steve [pausing for a second] “…and on Sundays he works at the supermarket, stacking shelves. But he only stacks the middle shelves because he can’t reach the top or bottom shelves.”
Lady [smiling, as she pinched my cheek]: “Ahh, I knew it.” [then she walked away]
Obviously, I didn’t know Steve was going say what he said. It was absolutely hilarious!
